Divorce Guide To Getting You Through The Holidays

Holidays during or after divorce can be challenging, but an amicable holiday is achievable. This guide shares simple strategies to help co-parents focus on their children’s well-being, ensuring a positive holiday experience.

With open communication, flexibility, and a commitment to peace, you can make this Thanksgiving or any other holiday memorable. Tips include planning early, keeping conflict away from the kids, and creating new traditions to bring joy. Remember, it’s about the spirit of the holiday, not the day itself—building positive memories matters most. Aim for progress, not perfection, as you work toward a harmonious Thanksgiving or other holiday.

Here are ten key steps to help you create a peaceful, family-centered Holiday, even in the midst of change.

•   Thanksgiving or any holiday can be especially challenging for divorced or divorcing parents. Emotions can run high, and traditions may feel disrupted
• Today, we’re focusing on ways to create an amicable holiday that prioritizes peace, flexibility, and, most importantly, the well-being of your children.
• Remember, a harmonious Thanksgiving, or any holiday, is possible, even if it means reimagining traditions.  

• Holidays are about creating positive memories for children, and that’s our focus today. Your kids  will remember how they felt more than where they were or who they were with.
• Co-parenting peacefully during the holidays allows children to enjoy a sense of stability and love from both parents.  
• Ask yourselves: What can we do to make this holiday feel special and safe for our kids, even if it looks a bit different than it used to? 

• Planning is essential. Communicate openly with your co-parent well before Thanksgiving or any holiday to make sure everyone is on the same page.
• Set clear expectations about timing, locations, and any other logistical details. This reduces stress on the day and helps you both feel prepared.
• Use neutral, respectful language in your communication, and keep the focus on practical details and the kids’ needs.

• Thanksgiving or any other holiday doesn’t have to happen only on the actual day of that holiday. Flexibility with days can make it easier for everyone to enjoy time together.
• Consider celebrating on Friday, or hosting two mini-Thanksgivings, where each parent gets special time with the kids. Or splitting the day up for morning or afternoon celebrations.
• Being flexible and open to change can help reduce tension and make the holiday more enjoyable for everyone.

• Even if there are unresolved issues or emotions, commit to keeping conflict away from the holiday gathering.
• Remember that children are very perceptive, and tension can affect their enjoyment of the holiday.
• Make a mental note to stay calm, avoid confrontations, and focus on making it a peaceful day. This creates a safe space for your kids.

• Thanksgiving or any holiday can be a time to show your children how well you and your co-parent can work together, even in difficult circumstances.
• Use the day as an opportunity to model resilience, cooperation, and kindness. It’s a powerful way to reinforce positive behavior and healthy relationships.
• This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings—it just means putting the kids first for the holiday.

• Embrace the opportunity to create new traditions that reflect your family’s current structure.
• Perhaps each parent can plan a unique activity with the kids, like making a specific dish together, playing a favorite game, or going for a holiday walk.
• Focusing on positivity and creating fresh memories can make the holiday feel more hopeful and joyful.

• Thanksgiving is all about gratitude, and even in the midst of divorce, there are reasons to be grateful.
• Encourage your children to express their gratitude and share things they’re thankful for—this can be a powerful reminder of love and resilience.
• Share what you’re grateful for, too. Gratitude has a way of uplifting our spirits and keeping the day’s focus on togetherness.

• If possible, carve out a moment of self-care before or after the holiday to ground yourself.
• This could be a quick walk, a journaling session, or even just a few deep breaths to prepare yourself emotionally.
• Self-care helps you show up as your best self and manage any complex emotions that come up during the day.

• Plan a calm, comforting ending to the day. Maybe have a bedtime story, share one final moment of gratitude, or do something your child finds relaxing.
• Ending the day peacefully reinforces the holiday’s positive memories, helping your kids wind down and feel secure.
• This is especially important for transitions if they’re going to the other parent’s home or if you’re shifting custody.

• Remember, this doesn’t have to be a perfect holiday; aim for progress and positivity.
• It’s okay if things feel a little different this year. Creating an amicable holiday takes time and patience.
• Most importantly, you’re building a foundation of peace and cooperation that can carry through future holidays and beyond.